Ashmodeus.com

How to waste your night fixing a piece of crap that should just work but doesn’t because Eclipse is the worst thing ever in the history of anything:

• - Run Aptana  + expect it to work because it used to before you updated your OS.

- Start working on your project as per normal and double click on a HTML file to edit it

- Marvel at the blackness of the screen where the HTML should be

- Google ‘black screen aptana’

- Read the first post about the problem from 2007

- Read the solution (Aptana uses an old version of eclipse that doesn’t work well with 64bit OSes) that will be available any day now

- Trawl through link after link looking for the beta that has only just come out years later

- Find the Beta 2 download and download it

- After installing, look at the Welcome page that says there is an updated beta. Download that now.

- Think about how you can improve on the stupid unmanaged beta program when you have one in future.

- Notices that during the install of Beta 3 it will uninstall Beta 2 but *not actually* install 3.

- Realise that the Beta 3 was downloaded using Aptana’s internal Internet Explorer instance and so now the download has disappeared into the cache somewhere

- Find and install Beta 3

- REALISE THAT BETA 3 WILL NOT READ YOUR FRICKEN WORKSPACE ANYMORE AND CANNOT IMPORT YOUR EXISTING PROJECTS FROM DISK BECAUSE OF A STUPID FRACKEN ECLIPSE BUG THAT HAS EXISTED SINCE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

- Write a blog post about it

Eclipse is so bad that I am thinking of making and selling Eclipse effigies on CafePress, then buying my entire stock and burning them in a giant bonfire then urinating on the ashes. IT’S THAT BAD.

What you are looking at is the output of my computer just before it became self-aware and tried to kill me. Apparently you *can* do anything with Python!

Luckily I had installed one of those military grade cut-off switches that shoot a non-conducting spike through the power cables connected to a deadman’s switch so it shut off when I fell over.

Let’s try that again shall we?

Ahaha, I love my new computer.

Look at the number of cores it has

Sometimes I wonder when my descendants will no longer have to contend with the whole ’something-remote-is-in-progress-can’t-cancel’ thing.

I have a feeling that my great grand-children, virtually immortal and capable of travelling between stars, will still at some point in their lives try to cancel an operation on a dialog box with the only result being that the ‘Cancel’ button becomes greyed out and inoperable.

Ahhh technology… If I wasn’t an rampant atheist and looking to you as my personal way to cheat death I would seriously fuck you up on a daily basis for being such a constant pain in the dick.

Hey son’s of mofos! If you are not a douchebag and lame and everything you should immediately download the new Android 1.5 sneak peek from here. I checked it out in the simulator and I gotta tell ya, it’s starting to look sexy!

Here are some of the new features:

• Sexy new look - Not so much ‘my first ui’ any more
• Speech recognition APIs - anyone for an aug?
• Widgets API
• Streaming Audio/Video APIs
• Virtual keyboard

Check out the rest of the changes here.

I want to post an article about how Android is going to totally pwn the iPhone but I can’t seem to find the time. Until then, consider this it!

Dreamhost:

a) Slow because the DBs are on a different machine

b) Got majorly hacked - to the point that mofos installed javascript in all of my sites

c) Are funny and cheap and give you a crapload of space but see a) and b)

Now I am webfactional. Try to find a bad review about them. Go on, I dare ya.

(P.S. Comments are missing in this theme sorry. I’ll add em later! Talk to me on twitter!)

Why is it that as soon as you have the resources to implement an awesome game changing idea you suddenly can’t think of anything apart from a sudoku clone? With lasers!!

Damn you mental blockages.

Haha, long time no post.

Anyway, I bought a mac! For dev purposes initially but it also makes a great media centre and I love it already.

Dan lent me some good books on cocoa and iPhone dev so I am gonna jump in tonight. The more skills the better in today’s ridiculous economy.

Also I am trying to write a post a day from now on from my phone on the way home. There is so much going on in my life I want to have a record!

Hello there my friends. I am back.

Expect more of the jaw droppingly insightful banter, news, reviews, opinions, reviews and also banter that ashmodeus.com delivered all through 2000 and eight. This time in oh-niner!!!!

Wait a second, you say that didn’t happen? WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

 

(I AM STILL SORTING OUT THE NEW THEME SO DON’T BE ALL LIKE WHINY BITCHES AND GO, “WHAT’S UP WITH THE THEME MAN? WHAT, ARE YOU SORTING THE THEME OUT OR SOMETHING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? CAN I HAVE SOME MONEY?” JUST DON’T DO THAT OK? OR I SWEAR I WILL DO NOTHING OUTWARDLY BUT INSIDE I WILL REALLY RECONSIDER IF WE SHOULD BE FRIENDS ANYMORE BUT I WON’T EVER LET YOU KNOW THAT I THOUGHT THAT BY SAYING ANYTHING OR DOING ANYTHING DIFFERENT BUT IF YOU PLOTTED THE FREQUENCY OF MY VISITS TO YOUR HOUSE OR POSSILY THE NUMBER OF TIMES THAT I EMAIL YOU A MONTH OVER TIME YOU MAY SEE SOME SORT OF DOWNWARD TREND IF YOU GET ENOUGH DATA… OK? THANKS.)

It all began when I opened the PDF containing my flight details to see if my flight was at 21:30 or 21:35. “21:05″, the page said to me. “Fuck,” I said.

Anyway, after bribing a morose Dutch taxi driver with my best film star impersonation, “to the airport - and step on it”, I arrived in time and am now waiting for my flight. Of course we nearly flipped his maxi taxi a couple of times on the way but that’s the price of progress people!

Only too late have I realized that I have forgotten my headphones… 16 gb of tunes and no way to listen to any of them… It’s going to be a long trip.

Wait, let me rephrase that… FUCK!